Are you tiring of these lame ass poems yet?

UNWORTHY

I am ashamed to think that anyone could see me through such eyes...

For this devotion I am unworthy to receive

For the distance and the hours and the minutes and the days

Have left a tainted memory and a heart upon your sleeve...

So, I will try my hardest, to maintain the sense of trust

For this devotion I am unworthy to obtain

And love the distance and the hours and the minutes and the days

Until there is no space and we are one again...

Digging up all these old peoms from long ago......

Love Fades...

Love wanes and withers, in the dark
Banished from touch or embrace
In the place that once ignited passion’s spark
Alone and silently it grieves

Love dims slowly in the daylight
Taunted by expectations and demands
In the place that once was vibrant with delight
It fails to thrive being fed the dull  mundane.

Love dies quickly without passion
Neglected  by resentment and defeat
Arguments and anger become the only interaction
Bringing only silence and the quick retreat

Love fades forever once it passes
Apathetic, neither even tries
Hurts turn quickly into secrets
And secrets grow-- maturing into lies

Just because he can....

So…

I need to get something off my chest.  

Sometimes when I reread the things that I write it makes me wish that I was actually speaking to my reader.  The reason for this is that when I read my own thoughts….they sometimes seem pretty damn cynical and often sarcastic to the point of caustic, and I cannot have the opportunity to explain how those words got on the page and what mind they emerged from.  I guess my main concern would have to be that this is how am perceived as a person…I am not really bitter at all…the things I write are never meant maliciously or critically…they are just pointing out the obvious and sometime obliviousness of those other earthlings who share this amazing orb with me.  Sometimes, it IS the clothes that make the clown, and I like to discern who the clown is and why he likes to wear yellow (or blue, or red, or pink…..).  Ah…I feel better now.  That being said….here we go again.

The other day while sitting in my favorite café, I sensed someone walking past my chair.  Looking up I realized that not only was this person wearing a Toupee but that the hairpiece had been intended for a much larger head than the one resting on this man’s shoulders.  The postiche looked like an Elvis wig that firstly, had gone horribly astray and secondly, would have fit Elvis in his last days as opposed to when he was young and thin (if you catch my drift).  That isn’t necessarily humorous by itself, I realize, but as he continued past me, he looked down at his feet and when he did, the wig separated at the nape of his neck and I could see a quick glimpse of about a 1 inch gap that allowed viewing midway up his bald head.  I felt like a little boy looking up a nun’s skirt (some things are not meant to be seen).  It covered his ears in a way that was not meant to cover his ears.  Its hairline fell just above the man’s eyebrows like how bangs would sit.  Ok…now this was funny to me.  I watched this gentleman as he continued past me and giggled curiously at the hat on his head that was manufactured to look like human hair.  After all, isn’t this in essence what he was wearing, a hat?   I joked to myself that he had probably found it at a yard sale or it had been bequeathed to him as part of an estate, or better yet,   perhaps he found the mop in an attic somewhere.  I could just see him pulling the dusty salt and pepper chapeau from grandpa’s trunk saying “I remember seeing Grandpa wear this as a boy”, and then whistfully pulling it onto his much too small head where it would be displayed day after day…..…the reunion of so many memories….sigh

…And, in typical misfit fashion, this put a question in my mind to muse over….WHY?  Did he sport this manmade mullet in the summer?  Was it keeping his head warm?  Why would someone get up every morning and shower, dress, brush their teeth, have coffee, read the morning paper and oh yeah, pull a much too large faded Elvis wig onto their cranium and go out and face the world?  Did he put it on at home or in the car before he reached his destination?  I can imagine him now, pulling to a stop, placing the car in park, pulling the key out of the ignition, removing his seatbelt and reaching over onto the passenger seat where the thing laid curled up like a sleeping skunk and pulling it onto his head while looking at himself confidently in the rear view mirror.   What kind of performance art is going on here? Exactly what amount of genius is hidden beneath the artificially hirsute skullcap? 

Now, I can understand women wearing wigs.  I can…in fact I LOVE wigs--on women—and I can see why they are not only important, but sometimes necessary.  I guess it’s the man thing I have trouble with.  Please don’t think I’m being sexist, that’s just not my point.  What I am trying to drive home here is that we live in a society where woman are EXPECTED to have lovely hair.   Hell, for years I have WORKED as a hairdresser.  The hair industry is a  major contributor of our economy …hair color, perms, highlights, cuts, styles, blah, blah, blah…the list goes on and on, all designed for one thing, to make women look and feel more attractive.    Magazine images depict woman with exotic and creative hairstyles.  Fashion runways enhance the look of the fashions with a theme using hairstyles to “make the look”…even the Bible uses the verse “ …A woman’s hair is her crowning glory” (1 Corinthians 11:14-15)---a woman’s hair.  I guess even God likes pretty hair on a lady, eh?  For this reason (the societal importance, not God’s preference), It is very traumatic for most women to lose their hair due to illness or skin conditions or just plain genetics.  It is commendable and understandable why people donate long ponytails to “Locks of Love” to help those who have been ill to feel more positively about themselves.  With the focus on a woman’s hair in our society you would expect a woman to try to enhance her features with gorgeous follicles, whether artificial or not---But a man?  Why?

Most Men naturally go bald, this is the hard truth.  Look around you kids.  Look at the percentage of bald or balding men as compared to men with a full lush head of hair.  Get my point?  And of those men who still have their hair, what percentage actually shave their heads to almost nothing, or cut it so short that it doesn’t matter if they take the plunge and shave the rest anyway.  Then ask most women who have matured beyond wanting a boy and prefer a man if the baldness bothers them.  They may make a joke referencing the famous Fabio, but most of the ones that I have spoken to find bald men to actually be quite attractive if not sexy.  I know I do for one.  In fact, to me, it is almost odd to see a man past the age of 45 with a full head of hair. (http://medicalcenter.osu.edu/patientcare/healthcare_services/mens_health/hair_loss/pages/index.aspx ).  They stand out in a crowd.   Bald hair and thinning hair in men is totally acceptable, tolerated and not even noticed for the most part (unless of course you are Sy Sperling the founder of Hair club for Men and trying to make a buck off the insecurity of the vain few).  Oh, and if you are a man and still have your hair…good for you.  Some women will prefer YOU over the hair deficient guys, it all balances out in the end, I suppose.

Ok, now that some important points have been state, I can take a breath and get on with my point and address the question at hand--“WHY?”…Which brings us back to my friend in the restaurant. I guess that this man had the right as an American citizen to go out in public with his furry crash helmet and not be ridiculed, right?  And I am not ridiculing him….but I just can’t get past the why?

WHY?  If he is balding, then it is absolutely acceptable to shave your head and not stand out, why not just sport a chrome dome?  In these modern times, this is the norm.  If he had dirty hair, then a simple wash in the men’s room sink would do it.  If he is ashamed of his baldness, then why not wear a hat?  Perhaps his destination did not allow such an accessory to be worn?  Was this his way of advertising his genius?  Or my final idea would be that he was just weird and liked his big floppy hairpiece and that he enjoys to not only stand out in the crowd…but to wear his misfit status proudly and chooses to look that way simply because he CAN… simple as that.  Didn’t Einstein even stand out in a crowd?  Just because he could?  I don’t know, even though I question it, I think THAT reason is the best reason of all…

The Predicament

Ok...going out on a limb here, I wrote this some years back and found it tonight and thought it might
be worth posting....Am I the only one who has ever felt this way?

                              The Predicament

i cry transparent droplets
and scream without a sound
and whisper to break the silence
of your intimidating rage

and all the while
without my even trying
my ways bring your rebuke
so i wither from your judgment
in my imaginary cage

but the me is getting smaller
and the you is getting larger
and soon i am afraid
i'll completely disappear

 all the while.....
your voice is getting louder
while mine is getting softer
and it's making it so neither one
of us can hear.

Some People are Soooooo Annoying!

So.

What does one choose to write about when nothing at all comes to mind…I know!  How about ridiculously annoying people?

Come on, we’ve all seen them.  Like, for instance, ever notice how people always lean forward when they drive uphill?  Or how about those people who close their eyes when they talk to you?  Or worse look up at the ceiling while speaking?  Why do they do that anyway? 

How about people who leave the cat hair on their sweaters to let the world know they are “catlovers”?

Ever watch how some men  walk when a hot woman is standing there?  They pull their shoulders back so far that when they swing their arms (and boy do they swing their arms) and that quirky stride they do…they look just like oversized chimpanzees…which is really funny because a lot of the ones I have met were only about one step up on the evolutionary scale.

Oh, and ex spouses…has there ever been a good one?  What is it about marriage that turns a wonderful human being into the most vile dirt crawler imaginable, the husband is usually remembered as a drunk, cheat or a liar and the wife almost always ends up being called a whore…and it happens to all of them! Exes I mean…

HA HA!  Men with mullets….or worse...toupees?  Do I really need to elaborate?

Hey, what about morbidly obese women who wear control undergarments that only cover where panties would be.  Where do they think the excess goes?  Yup, over, under and everywhere else.  I suppose it could be worse, they could be sporting a thong…of course who would know.

Elderly women who wear high heels with elastic leg sport pants, even if it is adorable…

People who yell things  at their television sets

Anyone who earns a place on www.peopleofwalmart.com

Here’s some more…

Men who wear tube socks with sandals.  WTF?

Close talkers

People who spit when they talk

Close talkers who spit when they talk

Or, here’s one, Women who talk sweetly yet very loudly to their children while in public.  Are they trying to convince us that they talk like that at home?  Because you and I both know...... *winks*

And what about those kids…why are  they always their age and ½.  At what age do we stop saying that?  I mean is there an average age?  I bet the government has already spent millions to figure it out…result: inconclusive.

Ah and don't forget about the well known Know it all…including know it alls who deny they are know it alls at all and attempt to argue the point, because they feel that they would know for sure if they were a know it all

Oh, and by the way, while we're at it--Don’t forget people who have stinky feet

Ya know what else?  How about when you can smell what someone’s house smells like when they walk by you in the grocery store.  Or people who throw their trash on the ground.

People who blow their nose in a restaurant while you are eating are one of the worse.  Sorry kids, but just because you have finished your meal doesn’t mean I want to lose my appetite for mine.  Incidentally,  while we are on the subject.  Why do you feel the need to make an audible ACHOO sound with your voice when you sneeze, you are disruptive enough already.

Then of course there are people who whisper in just a decibel or two below their normal voice so that you can still hear everything they are saying;

And people who refer to others by their last name.

What-is-the-story with those inconsiderate people who talk wicked loud on cell phones in public places like restaurants or malls or libraries…or public restrooms-- Or grizzled old people who complain all the time and never smile-- 

or Giggling Pre teen girls who wear too much makeup to the mall and think it looks amazing:

Dark Roots,

Comb-overs--

Middle aged woman who always want to know who your mother is, like they would know her.  Besides, even if they did, then what?

I guess this list could go on and on, but for now is enough to keep you thinking for a while.  I would love to have some additions though….Just think….We could start the longest list of annoying type people on earth!  It could go around the world…It would become viral…we could ALL be famous and invited onto Larry King live…and it would have all started with ME…

Oh, I forgot the most annoying one….people full of themselves with visions of grandeur. J

Whatever....

So…

Green people….pffft…

This weekend, I took a cruise out to Whole Foods Market in Hadley to buy De-ionized water for my beloved fish tank.  Now I am far from a health food nut (one look at my svelte frame will tell you that) so my even being there was a travesty…but my fish are worth the extra effort.  Walking in to the store, I stepped up onto the sidewalk and nearly fell over backward on the ice.  Arms flailing, I twisted my back and grabbed first onto my poor husband, then onto the post for dear life.  My husband, startled, reached out form me asking quite loudly (because it surprised him), “Are you all right?”  Being the only chunky person entering the store, this must have been quite a spectacle to see, so not only was I shaking and in pain from the lovely upper back muscle twist, but my pride had been damaged and I was embarrassed.  Walking into the Market, I was pretty pissed off.  When I got inside, I asked the front desk to please put something down for the ice so that no one else had the same incident, and a few minutes later, they were on the spot.  Feeling self pride at them jumping to my demand, I turned around to push my carriage over to the aisle with the water dispenser, head held high, beaming in my victory.  Just then a blur of what appeared to be one half of ‘THING ONE AND THING TWO” from Dr. Suess’s, “Cat In The Hat” scurried in front of me cutting me off and again, almost making me slip on the wet floor…In disgust, I shook my head and looked for a parental unit to show my disdain...  Apparently feeding one’s young on granola makes you free of the responsibility of behavioristically rearing them.  Or so I opine.   

After Thing One rejoined his caretaker, I proceeded to the dispenser to fill my numerous containers with the water.  The floor in the entire aisle was wet and dirty from the multitude of muddy wet shoes walking through in addition to the drips of water that had been left behind by the water machine.  I perused the aisle to see if there were any open paper towels (or a mop) so that I could wipe the floor in some of the puddled wet spots so that myself or someone else didn’t fall…no open packages or towels provided, but I did notice the entire aisle was filled with product after product of happy, earth friendly soaps, cleaners, paper products…imagine, all natural toilet paper…Wow…all natural household items of every type imaginable.  I didn’t even realize that there could be that many ways to be earth friendly and natural. 

My bottle was full, time for another, and another and another.

A couple minutes into it, I looked over and saw the little menace (remember Thing One?) rolling on the floor beneath his maternal’s carriage while his oblivious mother examined bottle after bottle of cleaning product, reading the ingredients to ensure its purity and wholesomeness.  Only the purest for her family; She even went so far as to call an employee over to offer guidance on the issue.  While she was looking for the most pure and natural way to clean her house, Un-noticed, her infuriatingly obnoxious 4 year old was rolling around on the floor in the mire of automobile oil and brake fluid residue, road salt, sidewalk spittle and Lord knows what else that had been tracked in on the boots of everyone in the store. He writhed on the floor like a little mop absorbing every vile bacteria and chemical present from the walk from parking lot to cleaning aisle.  I watched him, mouth aghast.  She didn’t have a clue!  Finally, having found just the right product, she contentedly lifted her contaminated child to the carriage and placed him feet first to sit among her food and produce and rounded the corner in egress.  His little back was soaked and filthy…even his hair was wet!  I shuddered. 

On the way out of the store a thought occurred to me.  My husband exited the store in annoyance with me but in the spirit of journalism, I just had to ask.  As I approached the service desk, the guy who met my wrath on the way in, refused to look up from what he was doing to speak to me (chicken!), so I asked his co-worker what they clean their floors with.  He did tell me that they use only natural cleaning products in a very defensive way, but that once a month an outside vendor comes in and uses “their own products” to clean and wax and strip the floors.   I asked if their products were all natural and he said that he doubted it.  I also noticed that standard snow salt was used on the sidewalk (not earth or even pet friendly). Not to sound sarcastic, well maybe just a bit, but does this trump the “all natural cleaners” claim?   You decide and then let me know, so I know I’m not just crazy…. 

 So, I ask you….Does no one else think of these things?  While all these very kind, health conscious people were tolerantly stepping over the pre-schooler, with their salty dirty feet dripping, did it occur to any of them the contradiction taking place before their very eyes? 
A contradiction that they themselves were part of?  Didn’t it piss anyone else off as much as it did me?  It took every bit of social grace and every physical strength I had not to walk up to Mother of the Year, tap her on the shoulder, hand her kid a Twinkie and tell her to “Get over it and join the rest of the human race”.  Am I the one with the issue here?

Whatever. 

My husband says that I just don’t think like other people; that I see the world through different eyes…I don’t know, I think sometimes, that’s a good thing.